Yesterday, a mother and father had to bury their 9 month old son. I don't know the family, beyond reading their blog for the last many months, but I grieve for them, I cried many tears over the passing of a little boy who never left the NICU. They live across the country and I will never meet them but there are connections...the mom is a teacher at the college I went to, the baby was at a hospital my sister worked at. . .mostly, they are parents of a beautiful little boy who has gone Home.
I read their blog last night of the funeral, it was so sad. I cried --sobbed really -- as I grieved for the loss of life and the sadness of that family. I remembered Zayden's thankfully short stay in the NICU at Children's after he was born, our terror upon learning there was something wrong, and the faces of the families that came each day to visit their children. . .I think of those children and realize that some also may have never left the confines of Children's NICU.
And then I took my little guy, gave him a huge hug, thanked God for his health, remembered the chaos and fear surrounding the emergency C-section, remembering wondering if he would live, and remembering another mom (actually my OB/gyn) who was only a few weeks behind me, and lost her baby just a week before we realized something was wrong with Zayden.
I took him to his room for night night time. I sat there rocking him to sleep, letting him nurse, until long after he was fast asleep, and I rocked him more, and held him more, and kissed his sweet face, and ran my hands through his beautiful hair, and thanked God over and over for this beautiful precious little life, and if he is to be the only one I am ever to have, then thank You for him being healthy and happy.
Almost an hour after he fell asleep, I very reluctantly put him in his crib, watched him sleep, and shed more tears for the family that will never have that reprieve, and who put their baby to sleep in a grave yesterday, instead of his crib.
Sometimes it takes that to remember how lucky I am --how sad is that.
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